Serger and iPhone App

So, this is the serger the significant other and I finally lugged to my house.

I admit, I was partial to it because it had purple.

I am not sure if that makes me shallow or anything. But, damn, it is a pretty little powerhorse. I have to book classes this Friday and see how to work the tensions and all before I am able to really touch it and work with fabrics. It also came with a nifty VHS video. Totally old school.

At the moment, I am installing the latest iPhone RPG game. Dungeon Hunter. I've seen the game play and it's pretty nifty.

Drama Illama and Shopping Habito-s.

There has been a little too much drama in my life lately.

But, I have managed to somehow make today one of the greatest achievements of my life. Today, is the two year anniversary with my significant other. To celebrate, I've already somewhat prepared my outfit for tomorrow. :)

Plus, I bought him a 500GB Western Digital MyPassport Portable Hard drive from Bestbuy yesterday. He was the happiest boy in the world. If only, I had felt happier. My wallet is feeling the burn after the purchases above (pictured).

A Day to Loathe

Today was the last day of the CNE.

It was also perhaps the most horrid day I've had in a while with friends, at least. The day, honestly, could not have begun and ended in a worst way. There was a good dose of drama, fighting, very little time spent enjoying the day or even shopping.

I know, shocking, even for me.

I tend to have this subconscious method of making my life a lot more complicated then it should be. I've been told that it's "ALL IN YOUR HEAD". But, at the same time I seem to enjoy and reap the benefits of what this all entails in the end. Hot and heavy make-up time with the significant other. Trust me, there is no better way to light my fire then to make me feel like I OWE him something and I have to try my best. It's a feeling of being on the borderline of being punished and catering to him. For some strange reason, it is such a turn-on. It sounds like guilt-tripping. Haha. But, everything is now dandy now that he's given me another chance and I've made it up to him by completing the cycle.

I did manage to squeeze some shopping before meeting up with my friend and significant other. I bougt Dr. Scholl's Ball of Foot gel cushions. Unfortunately, after a couple hours of wear they started feeling like a pair of rubber erasers rubbing against my foot. Will be returning those pretty soon. I should have bought Comfort Insoles since they are better suited for boots. A pity, I had to suffer.

I also got the Bauch & Lomb soft contact lens eye drops. Contrary to their actual relief-aiding properties I found that they made my eyes burn a bit and that the relief was a tad shorter lived then I had previously thought. Maybe because my Nudy circle lenses (I wore today) have always felt a tad uncomfortable. I really need to look into prescriptions - I feel as if wearing my circle lenses make my eyes more tired, red, and pained when worn for more then 5 hours. I will be cutting down wearing them to 2-3 times every couple of weeks. They get really uncomfortable and today one folded in my eye while putting it in. Ew.

Another highlight was that I spent no more then $40 the whole day AND I finally got a Lunchmate Stacker's. Sadly childish, but for some reason eating processed ham with cheddar cheese on crackers brought my spirit up. NUMMY.

Also, my business partner / friend, Aya got a JANOME sewing machine from the Janome exhibition store (SEWING WORLD WAREHOUSE OUTLET). It's a great machine and a great warranty. I am SO JEALOUS. ARGH! I also, found out that the serger we (SO AND I) recently purchased for $499 + tax was on sale at their home store location for $399 + tax. I could have saved at least $115 dollars and it was a better deal with a FREE RUFFLER foot. LIKE WHAT THE HELL. I can't sleep because I am so pissed off. I emailed them about their low price guarantee not sure if they'll refund me the money since the sales are final but at least they can give me something back. I had bought it from the SEWING MACHINE OUTLET STORE but their store hours are unbelievably short compared to their competition that Aya had bought her sewing machine from. SAD. SO SAD. They also offer a 2 year trade-in. SHIT.

I am in a state of regret.

But, at least I have a good serger.

NOT FAIR. I haven't even touched it yet. Plus, the store I bought it from

Heart to Heart

I have taken to wearing my Geo circle lenses at least 2-3 times a week. In the pictures above, I am wearing my Geo Nudy's in brown. I love how it makes my eyes looks so different from normal. I blab about it so much that my significant other who works in customer service knows which Asian girl customer is wearing them now. He even asked one girl today and she was damn surprised. Haha.

Lately, I have been having issues with my self-esteem.

There are just so many things going on that are just a little too much to handle right now. I think I may be sick. I am not sure what type of sickness it is and I by gods, hope it's nothing terminal or something that will render me somewhat useless physically. I experience pain from it everyday - and the first time trying to book an appointment at multiple doctors was intensely frustrating. I ended up tearing up a little because the next available slots for me were 2-3 weeks. How the hell am I supposed to suffer for 2-3 weeks without any treatment?

I am scared. I am really scared. I don't know what to do and despite being rather strong in certain ways I am not a big pushover. More passive-agressive if anything. But, sometimes when I feel so weak, I think to myself that there is no lower I can go and I must fight my way out of the pit I dug. So, I called again and pushed for an emergency appointm

ent. I have an appointment due next week with one doctor and a nurse (from my family doctor's practice).

I am not quite sure what it is sometimes. It's almost as if when my life is at it's most hectic point that I just have a habit of bringing more trouble into my life to distract myself from the reality. I know, I get a lot more snappy and I start bashing the significant other and pushing him away even though I know I shouldn't. If anything, I just want to be left alone to mope.

Lately, I just want to shop. Shopping, is such an adventure lately. I paid for half my serger (my significant other paid for the other half as it is my Birthday Present). I finally bought a flat-iron. Went on a mini shopping spree at Sephora getting Benefit Erase Paste and Korres Quince Lip Butter + a free sample of Anastasia Mascara. I bought a pair of sexy boots from Payless.

Ridiculous, how much I spend when stressed!

It almost seems like beauty comes in a prettily packaged box...or many boxes:

But lately, the focus has been on appearance. Usually, I am not very high maintenance. However, recently I've been feeling this slight pressure to look a certain way now that I have been exposed to the world in which a certain perfection presides hand in hand with materialism. It almost seems as if I was meant to catch on. Eventually. I don't know how wholesome it will make me feel once I attain this beauty.

I've always told my bestfriend that to feel beautiful you must truly believe it for it to happen. Somehow, I've lost touch with that. To be honest, sometimes its all in your head. You can fiddle a lot with the outside but beauty really comes from within. And at this moment, my insides are ugly ugly ugly. They are like a rotting pile of tangles and knots.

Yet, despite this all. I still realize that while my spending could be cut a little more and I will always be on the pursuit for something to better myself. I will be fine. I have a lot of things many take for granted or don't even have. I should be happy. Thankful. Selfless.

Like our dog, Cookie: